Verify that the parents are aware of the party and that it will be properly chaperoned. Confirm that there will be no alcohol or other drugs permitted at the party. Offer your assistance.
Have the address and phone number of the party giver. Let your child know that you expect a phone call if the location of the party is changed.
If you are unable to provide transportation for your child, make certain that you know which parent will be driving to and from the party.
This is also a good time for children to share the excitement of the party with you.
If your child feels uncomfortable with anything happening at the party make sure they know that they can call for a ride home at any time. The child may need a phone card or make sure they understand that they can call collect.
Discuss with your child the possible situations that might necessitate such a phone call: drugs or alcohol being present at the party; other illegal activity; not feeling comfortable with the situation; just wanting a way out; the party not being properly supervised; or fighting or aggressive behavior.
If you are not going to be home, let your child know where you can be reached or whom they can call to get a ride. Make certain that your back up driver is aware that you are not going to be available and that they know the phone number and address of the party host.
Check with the parents of the friend beforehand to verify that it is acceptable for your child to spend the night, that they will be home, and that you agree on a curfew.
Your child needs to know in advance that it is OK to come home. They need to know that there will be strong consequences, but that you will discuss the consequences in the morning. This will give you both an opportunity to calm down. Home needs to remain a safe place.